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Night's Whisper Simple and straightforward, Night's Whisper gets you two cards for one black and one colorless mana with a negligible life loss of 2 at sorcery speed

Names of other characters

Infernal Grasp might be as close as we ever get, and for most environments the ability to hit any creature is well worth the cost of two life

He is someone Im sure you recognize and also have avoided or disconnected from in your life

Bladewing, Deathless Tyrant is big, evasive, and can create a bunch of evasive creature tokens right away

A fast instant that can combine a quick one-turn Ray of Command effect with a power bump from a dead dork