That would feel like conferring the class
Austere Command still remains a banger of wrath
Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar's Kitchen Plane Hell Whenever you planeswalk here and whenever a creature enters under your control, create a Food token
I'd prefer it also shot all dorks a foe or you didn't control or just one dork for more to be a real answer
Adding white meant using dual lands and I admit that using only enters-the-battlefield-tapped style dual lands is odd when other options exist
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